Do you ever watch reality TV? It is really anything but reality, and if not entirely scripted, then it’s heavily edited to give a very narrow view of what actually happened.
Instead of reality TV though, today I want to discuss “TV Reality”.
I started thinking about this the other day at a party. A dad was playing with his children, and it was great to see them all having such fun. To be truthful though, I felt a little guilty and questioned my own meager attempts at parenting . They seemed to be having such a good time, and I couldn’t imagine them ever having a falling out or a cross word.
They didn’t seem to have a care in the world, and appeared the perfect family.
That’s not reality though.
It is so easy to look at others and not see the problems that they face. It is all too easy to think we are the only ones having problems, or the only one going through a difficult time.
We glimpse the “perfect” life of another, and think it’s their day-to-day reality. It’s no more real than reality TV – in fact, it’s TV reality. TV Reality (my own idea) is where we see the portrayed reality put out into the world and believe it, whereas behind the scenes real life is going on and isn’t as good as it seems.
Social media makes this all the more problematic. No one ever puts their real life on Facebook, but only selected highlights. if you are scrolling through your Twitter feed thinking, “They’re all having such a great time, and I’m struggling!” Then you are not seeing the truth.
It is important to remember this, because when things get tough, it can be all too easy to believe the grass is greener on the other side. How many marriages broke down when things got tough, because one or both partners believed life would be better on the other side?
The Bible tells us to consider ourselves with sober judgement.
“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.”
Romans 12:3 (EVS)
To consider yourself with sober judgement means to be honest. It means we ought not to look on others, and believe all things are rosy for them, when it’s hard for us. Sober judgement means not being harder on ourselves than we should, or excusing our mistakes either. We beat ourselves up over our sin at times, and then at others gloss over it!
The big problem is comparison. We compare ourselves to each other (often on social media feeds) and no good can come of it. I’m not saying we can’t learn from each other, far from it. But comparing ourselves with each other only leads to disappointment.
The only true measure of our lives is against the Word of God. In His Word, God sets out the way He wants us to live. He tells us what to do and what not to do. More importantly, it points us to the only One whose opinion really matters – God Himself.
If we compare against another person, we either judge ourselves better or worse than them. Neither is a good place to be.
Don’t look to others’ TV realities and focus on everything that’s wrong in your life. Don’t waste your time and energy keeping up with the Jones’ or being jealous of others social media lives.
Look to God’s Word for reality, and when you do, you’ll realise you come up rather short. Don’t despair though, God knows we cannot meet His standards and that’s why He sent Jesus to meet them for us. Instead of pouring your precious energy into living up to false realities, pour it into your relationship with Jesus. It’s a whole lot more satisfying!
Andy Brown 