Pearls of Wisdom
Marriage is about two imperfect people becoming well practiced at forgiveness
I heard a quote of this kind a while ago, but unfortunately don’t know the original author. My version above is a paraphrase, and I am certain you get the idea!
When married, a couple will inevitably let each other down. It is rarely deliberate, and few want to cause distress or harm. Sometimes needs or wants on one side are misunderstood by the other, and not met, and other times those needs are clearly communicated and yet go unfulfilled. Mistakes are made in tiredness, anger or grief, and sometimes words are spoken which are not intended. I am perhaps no great student of people, yet I have never seen a marriage where this isn’t so. Marriages are hard work and yet absolutely worth the effort.
What is true of marriage is probably also true of all relationships, to a greater or lesser degree.
No matter our differences, there is one thing that is true of us all – not one of us is perfect. Each of us is born a sinner, live in a broken world and often think of ourselves more than we ought. It is rather a miracle that any marriage or relationship works out at all!
People stay together when they forgive one another time and time again. When we stop forgiving, resentment can build and ultimately destroy the relationship.
There are, of course, times when a relationship comes to an end. This is sad, and we can reduce the chance of it happening by willingly and freely forgiving each other for our shortfalls. (Of course, if there are serious issues such as abuse, then forgiveness is no magic wand to wave and repair all the hurt overnight. In such case, more help is required)
How good are you at forgiving your spouse, friend or family member? How often have they had to forgive you in the past? Practise makes perfect, so they say, and as long as you have people in your life, you will have plenty of opportunity to forgive.
Forgiving is not easy, no matter how often we do it. It does not undo hurt or pain, and it does not make bad things good. It is a choice. If, like me, you find it hard to forgive at times, then ask the Lord to help you and remember how wide and deep His forgiveness is for you.
Andy Brown 
Forgiveness. Can seem impossible, and yet it’s liberating.
Great post!
I remember Jo working with me on one occasion, to help me forgive one person who had gone so far out of their way to seek to hurt me, personally.
Took me many an hour of tears, and a flat refusal to let them off the hook, until I finally got there.
Saying those words “I forgive them” was ridiculously hard. But, as I did, wow! So good to know peace again.
Jo reminded me that God will forgive me only as much as I forgive others…….nuff said!
Andy B
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Thanks for sharing Andy, really helpful. Forgiveness is truly impossible without gods help. Forgiveness is no easy thing at all! And you rightly point out that often we benefit from forgiveness far more than the person we are forgiving.
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Always
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Well said and worthy points to remember in marriages and other relationships. Bless you. 🙏🏾
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Thanks so much for reading, and for taking the time to write an encouraging comment. Really appreciate it.
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Bless you
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“As you have people in your life, you will have plenty of opportunity to forgive.”
This is spot on, brother! And it works both ways, others will find it necessary to forgive us.
My wife and I have a saying: “three makes two. “The idea is that it’s not just two people in a marriage but God is in the middle.
Great post!
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Thanks David. And you’re absolutely right. I expect I need to be on the receiving end of forgiveness far more than offering it out myself! Great point about making sure God is in the centre of our marriages. Is the only real way to succeed. Thanks again
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This is a message we need to be constantly reminded of! Thanks for the words of wisdom. Might need to reread it a few times myself! 😅
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Thank you for your kind comments. I’m glad it gave you pause for thought! Forgiveness is often easier said than done! Thanks for reading the post and taking the time to comment
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Unforgivness is a poison that taints all other areas of one’s life.
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Yes, I think you’re quite right. So many problems stem from a lack of forgiveness. Yet it can be so difficult to forgive at times.
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