Tag: selfishness

Try To Do Things Yahweh

I have to be honest with you – I was so proud of myself when I came up with that title! Now I just need a blog post to go along with it…

In all seriousness, I do have an important point to make today, and I’m not just bending a message to fit the title.

A few days ago, I sat praying in my usual spot. It has been a fairly tough time for the family over the last few months, and I was reflecting on this and bringing it before the Lord. I started to pray for each individual involved, “God, please help me to support this person…” “Lord, please help me show your love to that person…” Lord, please help me do this, that or the other…” I began to feel overwhelmed and could not imagine how I could minister to all the people in my life who needed it at that moment.

Then, with a simple word, I felt God speak to me.

Don’t try to do my job for Me, Andy…

Now to be clear, this was not an audible voice I heard with my physical ears. I’m always conscious of pointing that out whenever I say that God “spoke” to me. This was an inner witness, and what I mean by that is simply that this was the sense I got from the Father inside.

With that one phrase, it lifted the pressure right off of me. I am responsible to love and care for the people in my life, and where led to, I should minister and support all that I can with the love of the Father. However, I am not God (clearly!). I cannot do what He can do, and I cannot take His place in the lives of those around me.

I have a part to play, but God is the one in charge. He knows far better than I what people need and how best to help them.

The truth is I have a problem with pride. In my time with God in the mornings at the moment, I’m doing a brief study on this subject, and it dawns on me how strong my prideful spirit is at times.

Pride and selfishness are close cousins. Humility and submission are likewise related.

When I become impatient in a situation, it is because my pride is kicking in and telling me I shouldn’t have to wait. When I get angry, it is frequently because I am not getting what I want. When I feel anxious, I am not trusting God but rather trusting in myself to fix the problems – which are often out of my control.

Can you relate?

Too frequently, I do things my way. Instead, let’s try to do things Yahweh…

Let God be God, and humbly submit to Him. Instead of impatience and anger, put the other person first and give them the space and time they need (even if it takes you a little longer to do what you need to).

Christ is our ultimate example of humility.

Have this in your mind, which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, existing in the form of God, didn’t consider equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, yes, the death of the cross. 9 Therefore God also highly exalted him, and gave to him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, those on earth, and those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:5-11 (WEB)

Wow! These verses are just wow! What an example of humility! Jesus, equal to God, stepped down from heaven and became a human being… and just that, but became obedient to death – even death of a hideous cross.

He did things Yahweh…

How about you today? Will you try to do it all your way and in your own strength? O will you try, like me, to submit to God and do things His way? It is not a onetime choice, but something we will have to do time and time again. That is what it means to crucify the flesh and to carry the cross daily.

O Lord help me surrender to You this day! Let me do it all Your way and not mine! Help me let go of my pride and se3lfishness, and clothe myself in humility – putting others ahead of myself! In the great Name of Jesus! Amen

Love or Jealousy (PoW)

Pearls of Wisdom

If you truly love someone, then it is impossible to be jealous of them

Jealousy is an ugly thing. It is not something we talk much about today, and yet it is a prevalent problem in our society.

To be jealous of someone is to want what they have. Worse, it is to think that they don’t deserve it and that we do. At the heart of jealousy is selfishness. We look on what others have, want it, and our attention is all on ourselves. It may cause us to bitterness, it may cause us to act to undermine the other person, or in extreme cases we may even steal or destroy the very thing we want to prevent them from having it.

None of these are acts of love.

To love someone – to truly love them – is to want the absolute best for them. It has nothing to do with what we do or don’t have, it is just about them having the best. If we love someone and want them to have the very best they can, then it is impossible to be jealous of them. Even if they have the very things we want, that is all overridden by our desire for them to have the very best.

To love is to put them first. It is to put their needs ahead of our own. It is to focus on them and not on ourselves.

The cure for jealousy is love. I put it to you that if you are jealous of someone today, then you perhaps don’t love them truly.

Is there someone you are jealous of right now? What steps can you take to love them better?

Have a great day!

The Isolation Test

Every Christian can act like one when they are home alone. But when we are trapped in the same four walls with our close family, not able to go out as we wish, it can be a lot harder to be a good witness for Christ. 

How are you coping with the Isolation Test?

I’m not quite sure how long we have been in lockdown now, but I know it has been over a month since I was last in a moving vehicle. I have not left the house since the weekend, and then only to walk our two dogs around the village where I live. My four children are fed up with being cooped up and all they want to do is run around.

For us, the sounds of children bickering about their latest make-believe game may be grating, but for those who live alone it would be a welcome noise.

How are you coping with the extended lockdown period? I call it the “Isolation Test”. And some days I’ve not doing a great job of passing it!

I saw on the news this morning that a charity in the UK are saying that as many as 1 in 6 relationships could break down as a result of this extended lockdown period. Those couples who thought they were in good shape have been shaken or broken by this strange time. We all need space at times, and even our closest friend or spouse can be a source of irritation if we indulge our selfish side.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIVUK)

Paul has some very challenging words to say about love in these verses. Love is not easy, and especially so right now.

Love is patient

They say that patience is a virtue. I say it is a critical Fruit of the Spirit which we all need to live a successful Christian walk. You cannot defeat a patient person.

My own patience has been somewhat lacking in recent days. Working from home with childcare and all social events cancelled has made it much harder to bear this fruit. Yet, we are in a very blessed position compared to many, and my focus should be on that fact and not on what I feel I am missing out on.

It is all too easy to fall into the temptation to be impatient. Impatient with children. Impatient with spouses. Impatient with technology, supermarket staff or social media. We all need a healthy dose of patience right now, and we can only find it in walking close with the Lord.

Love is kind

Kindness is another fruit we need right now. It is so easy to forget others and focus on our own circumstances. Alongside all of the bad news stories we hear, I’m so pleased to hear of other stories of kindness. Kindness to key workers. Kindness to neighbours. Kindness to those in desperate need.

Be kind to those you live with. They are likely finding it just as difficult as you are. Go the extra mile and do it even when you really don’t feel like it. Ask God to give you ideas about innovative kindness.

Love is not self-seeking

Love is not self-seeking. This statement alone stops me in my tracks. Love – God’s kind of love – is not about serving ourselves. Love is outward facing. It focuses on other people and sometimes doesn’t even consider itself.

When I lose my temper, it is nearly always because something or someone is getting in the way of what “I” want to do. While this is understandable at times, it is very humbling for me. I clearly have a long way to go in crucifying my flesh and dealing with my pride. I tend to fail the isolation test when I don’t put others before myself. I am guessing that I am not alone in this.

Selfishness is an ugly thing, and one we do not like to talk about or focus on. Yet it is something which affects us all to some degree. The more we deal with our selfishness and pride, the more loving we will be.

How do we do that though?

Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

Matthew 16:24 (NIVUK)

 

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Galatians 5:24 (NIVUK)

Crucifying the flesh means putting it to death. It means that each and every day we deny its desires and wants, and we put love first. Every time we feel that temper rise, we deny it and put the needs of others first. It is hard, but will only get harder if we choose not to do it. Likewise, the more we do it, the easier it will become.

There are no miracles or shortcuts to cure selfishness. It is a step-by-step, day-by-day process. We will only conquer it by consistently putting it down over and over again. And we will all have to do that for the rest of our lives.

Testing times

There is much more we could say about the words from 1 Corinthians on love. In fact, we could do a whole series of studies on it. For today, suffice it to say that passing the Isolation Test will be in no small part to do with how loving we can be to others.

It is an extremely hard time for many people, and so I do not write this to condemn you or make you feel worse than you perhaps already do. I have found it hard to be a good witness during the last few weeks, but that conviction drives me onward to want to do better.

I cannot behave better just because I want to, as my own strength of will isn’t enough and is too easily swayed by circumstances. I need the guiding hand of God to bring about lasting change in my life. I must renew my mind in His Word and allow Him to do the work of crucifying the flesh. Every moment of every day i must surrender to Him. It’s not easy, but God loves us.

I pray that you are able to not just survive this time of social distancing and isolation, but that you can bless others while you do.